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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

12.06.2025 04:16

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

If my boyfriend watches porn, does it mean he doesn’t think I’m good enough? If I am good enough, why does he still watch? Am I not beautiful enough?

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By taking turns talking.

Why is the concept of pumping water uphill not commonly used as a source of electricity generation, similar to pumped-hydro systems?

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.